Seven years.

November 26, 2010, Nick and I became one. I was 21 at the time and Pinterest was not even out yet. (Thank goodness.) In seven years we have experienced some of the best and hardest days of my life and it's crazy to think that we have technically “grown up” together as far as maturity (or "adulting") goes. 

I didn’t know it then, but surprisingly our life together is very much what I imagined it was going to be like. God has been so faithful to us and I can still say to this day that marrying Nick was easily the best and easiest decision I’ve ever made.

Here are seven things I have learned so far about being married: 

1. Saying sorry is always better than being right.

2. Unspoken expectations can damage a relationships growth, 

3. Dating your spouse after marriage is as crucial, if not more, then before you were married. 

4. Roles in the house will change with each added child.  

5. We are husband and wife, first, and then mom and dad, second. 

6. Communication. Communication. Communication. 

7. Pray for your marriage.  

Nick and I celebrated our 7 year anniversary with a day away exploring beautiful San Diego all over again. (Without our kids, of course.) Our anniversary is sandwiched between Thanksgiving and our middle's birthday so we tried to keep it simple.

Good food, good company and good drink.

We are planning a little tropical vacation in a few months with some saved up mileage points so that is something where we can look forward to some more extended time together.

I love you Babe and thanks for editing this post for me. You are and always will be my best friend and my better half. 

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juggling 3 kids is HARD.

Juggling 3 kids is HARD, actually juggling any amount of kids is hard! This transition for me has been a bumpy one and I have seen more than ever my sinfulness and my weakness. 

Nick and I were talking the other day about how the beginning weeks with a newborn are hard on a marriage. Throughout our marriage, I would say Nick and I do well at communicating. We are both talkers and enjoy conversations about food, theology, and life in general. But the first 3 months with each of our kids have been difficult for us. We both are sleep deprived, irritable, and vulnerable. A normal 2-minute conversation can take over an hour with all the interruptions from our little offspring. On Memorial Day we went on our first walk alone since Calvin was born and it was such a breath of fresh air. We love our kids—don't get us wrong—but before them it was just US. Trying to remember that it was he and I before we became "the Davis Family" is something that takes conscious effort each day. (Side note: thank you to my best friend AW for reminding me of this. You're the best!)

It's hard being a mom and a wife because I want to give everything my 100% and can't. If I was to make a list in my head of what is important to me many things are on a equal playing field and I cannot realistically give everything my full attention. I am convinced that if I was getting a good nights sleep  I could conquer so much more. It takes a lot out of me to not get overly jealous of the moms who have kids who sleep more than 5+ stretches at night (see update below on a gift Leo gave me). Leo has had some good nights and some that were just plain awful. His reflux is the culprit in the middle of the night and he wakes because he is spitting up everywhere despite me keeping him upright for 20 min after a feeding and trying to not fall asleep at the same time.

Through it all God has been gracious to me. I used to rock Leo to sleep for every nap and Calvin and Max would be doing who knows what in the living room but thankfully Leo has learned to put himself down. Right now Leo is up for an hour at a time and then I put him in his room with the sound machine and place him on his tummy and he is out in under 5 minutes. He naps anywhere from 35 min-3.5 hours and I try to soak up every minute of it when he is sleeping since he still has some colic throughout the day.

At the same time I cannot believe how fast time is going. Leo is almost 12 weeks old and it feels like I was just giving birth to him yesterday. God knew I needed sleep because last night he slept 9.5 hours straight (I still have bags under my eyes) and is now still sleeping after a quick feed. It is only 8:15 AM and I already had a decent breakfast, drank my coffee, put the dishes away and am typing here on the blog which is far and few now a days. 

Juggling 3 kids is HARD, but this is what I signed up for. I wanted to be a mom my whole life and I've been blessed to have 3 healthy boys. So whether you have 1 kid or 5 kids, know that you are not alone. Being a mom will stretch you in ways you never thought possible but there will be a time when our homes are quiet and the kids are all grown up. We will be wishing for the days when noise was non-stop and our days were filled with chaos and laughter. God's grace is sufficent and in our weakness, He is strong. 

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something every mom needs to hear.

 

I am not a person who needs constant affirmation for my abilities, looks, or accomplishments. I try to give myself a lot of slack and don't take myself too seriously. A few nights ago I went into the boys room and changed Max's diaper in the middle of his sleep, re-put on his socks, and filled his sippy with water. This is a routine I do almost every night. My reasoning behind this is that if he is dry, warm, and hydrated than he won't need to wake in the middle of the night and 99% of the time this works. I commented to Nick on how I am so strange to always do all these things when he isn't up. 

 "G, you're a really good mom." That was Nick's response to me and it has stuck with me for the last few days. I realized in that moment that although I do not need to be affirmed that I am a good mom, it meant so much to verbally hear that I was not crazy but actually was doing something right and good for our child. I know that my kids and husband appreciate both the small and great things I do to serve them each day, but for all of us moms it is so encouraging to actually hear these words. 

In my own mind, I often tell myself "Why do you do that?" or "That is a waste of time" or "No one cares that you do this" and the list goes on. I easily forget that God has chosen ME to be the one who is to love all of these boys and my husband. You too were specifically designed for YOUR family. What you do is enough for them and they need YOU. Not anyone else. Just you, in all of your you-ness.

There will be a day when our kids are grown up and we're no longer needed. But for now, many of us are needed, cherished, and were created to be a good mom to our kids. If you haven't heard that you are a good mom in a while, I am here to tell you that you ARE a good mom! 

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